its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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