The maid of honor just puked.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We are two peas in an std pod
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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