babies were throwing up all over the place
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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