hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heās Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeĀ
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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