He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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