I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize