for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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