I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize