You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize