I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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