covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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