I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize