please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
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I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
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Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
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