so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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