i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She is in my trunk
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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