She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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