she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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