Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize