im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize