I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize