I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize