Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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