Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
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Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
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All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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