i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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