So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I cannot find my penis.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
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I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
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Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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