pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize