I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize