Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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