I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize