We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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