Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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