sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
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Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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