Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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