piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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