stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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