Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I could have mohawked her pubes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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