Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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