I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
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I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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