I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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