Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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