eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So vagazzling was a success
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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