it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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