i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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