What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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