it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize