in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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