im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize