I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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