he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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