A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The maid of honor just puked.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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