My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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