My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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